A Different Approach 15

May 9, 2014

This post will be taking a different approach than usual, as it regards the nomination which my sister Caitlyn has given me for a blogging award. Thank you, sis!

1. Thank and link back to the person who nominated you.

2. List 11 facts about yourself.

3. Answer the 11 questions asked by the blogger who nominated you.

....There are others but seeing that I don't know any blogs other than those already nominated, I shall have to pass on those steps.

Fact One: I am Asian. There are no pictures of me on the blog, so maybe that wasn't clear.

Fact Two: I take both an ESV Study Bible and a Thompson Chain Reference NKJV to church. I feel incomplete if I'm missing either one.

Fact Three: I enjoy wearing fedoras even if I don't look very good in them.

Fact Four: Currently, I am seeing a hematologist, a dermatologist, a neurologist, and maybe soon an audiologist.

Fact Five: Since I was six, I have always wanted to write. My very first book involved two scientists being eaten by an Eustreptospondylus. No joke. No really. No joke.

Fact Six: I watch far too much Frasier, and I catch myself talking like him every now and then... Actually, I enjoy 90's sitcoms in general: Frasier, Everybody Loves Raymond, F.R.I.E.N.D.S., King Of Queens, Cheers, Seinfeld, etc.

Fact Seven: My favorite songs of all time are "Wake Me Up When September Ends" <Green Day>, "Piano Man" <Billy Joel>, "Brick By Boring Brick" <Paramore>, "Able" <Needtobreathe>, "When I Go Down" <Relient k>, "Restless" <Switchfoot>, and "We Are One Tonight" <Switchfoot>.

Fact Eight: I believe I have conquered it, but ever since watching the Scooby-Doo episode "The Backstage Rage," I was afraid of marionettes.

Fact Nine: The last movie to make me cry was The Lion King. I have came very close though since then. Up, Toy Story 3, Monsters Inc., The Blind Side, Forrest Gump, and Pursuit Of Happiness have come close though.

Fact Ten: I like to listen to "Sharp Dressed Man" by ZZ Top and "Back In Black" by AC/DC when I'm dressed up.

Fact Eleven: I once gnawed straight through a neon glowstick.

1. My favorite pie is lemon meringue if there's nothing involving Oreo's or mint around.

2. If I was ruler of the universe, I would make a lot of rules, but here are the top three. First: No more than three Facebook posts a day unless it's something important like surgery, death, or birth. Second: The instruction of the Scriptures must be taught in schools; you cannot claim to be tolerant if you are intolerant of Christianity. Third: cheaper seafood.

3. My favorite joke is actually a stupid knock-knock joke from Everybody Loves Raymond. Knock-knock. Who's there? Goliath. Goliath who? Go-lieth down. You look-eth tired.

4. Donuts or Bagels? It depends on what's on either one. Ideally, I would take a bagel slathered top to bottom with cream cheese though.

5. I don't really have favorite words...

6. If I had a specific theme song, it would be "Hell's Bells" by AC/DC.

7. Little house or big house: I would rather have a little house because it's cozy. Then I would have kids and change my mind.

8. Something I'm prod of: I once found a rare copy of the book "Khrushchev Remembers" at a bookstore. It may seem small to other people, but I still keep it just to read over. And laugh at.

9. Something I'm embarrassed about: See the previous answer.

10. Fantasy crushes? Oh geez... Audrey Hepburn, Amy Adams, Gwen Stefani, Emma Watson, Selena Gomez, Sharon Stone, Hayley Williams, Zooey Deschanel, Heather Graham, Cote de Pablo, Kay Panabaker, Rachel McAdams, Catherine Zeta-Jones, and Maggie Gyllenhaal. <--- Not an exhaustive list

11. The most bizarre thing that has ever happened to me would be when I cut myself on a french fry.

~The Fragile Grey Heart

Psalm 27:13 NKJV: "I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living."

Cast Away Your Chains 14

April 20, 2014

Christ the Lord is risen today! Alleluia! Jesus is more than a mere man. He is joy, He is peace, He is wisdom, He is love... And for three days, the universe had been without that overabundant fountain. We took Him, and we killed Him. Willing though He was, we escorted Him from Gethsemane to Golgotha, but just as our fall began in a garden, so our redemption began in a garden.

See Him there, stooping in anguish in Gethsemane? See his friend coming to betray Him? See the look on Judas' face? He is possessed by Lucifer himself, and when Judas comes to kiss Jesus on the cheek, Satan kisses Jesus. The betrayal is complete, and the disciples flee. The Romans deliver Him to the Jews and then to Pontius Pilate.

See Him there, being whipped? Hear the cries of agony that fall from His mouth? He can no longer scream for lack of energy. The cries simply drop from Him like the saliva and blood that sprinkle and stain the dirt upon which they have tossed Him. Hear them mocking Him? Such brazenness to laugh at your Creator! This body is weak, true, but there is a mighty, cosmic fire within the Son of God that is undeniable, and yet, He restrains it for their sake. For our sake. For His sake.

This cup cannot be passed. There is a single candidate for this task, and He must be killed. Today.

Can you feel His pain? No, you cannot. You cannot imagine it. Iron driven through His wrists and nerves. Blood soaks the rough tree upon which He is nailed. Splinters thrust their way into His wounded back with every gasp of air He fights for. Do you hear His weakness? "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do." "I thirst!" "Woman, behold your son." "It is finished." "Father, into Your hands, I commit my spirit." Earth and sky give way as their Creator dies.

You have slain God. How that is done, we will never know, but this much we know. God is dead, and God killed Him with our instruments. Satan laughs with delight, but suddenly, he realizes what he has done. He has sealed his own fate. Satan exits Judas in fear and hastens to the temple. The veil is torn.

Now, three days later, Jesus has returned to us. Why? Because the crucifixion was insufficient? No. He is alive to intercede for us. God turned His back on His Son, but not forever. For three days, the world had no Jesus. For three days, the Trinity was but two. For three days, a Father was without a Son, but now, the Son is alive again, and He has two things on His mind: His people and His throne.

See Him standing there in heaven? Hear Him call to the Lord, "Welcome him, My Father, for that is my brother, and he is your son through me. I have loved Him. I have redeemed Him." Cast away the chains of sin. God was dead, but He is alive again.

~ The Fragile Grey Heart

1 Corinthians 6:14: "And God raised the Lord and will also raise us up by his power."

Thief On A Cross 13

April 18, 2014

In light of Good Friday and Easter, I have composed a poem from the perspective of the thief on the cross beside our Lord. For me, it is easy to treat the Bible as a book and not as a recording. These people actually existed, and perhaps this poem will bring to light what this man may have been thinking.

THIEF ON A CROSS

The wooden splinters scrape my back.

I gasp again in pain.

My sinking shoulders sorely lack

The strength to fight the strain.

Yet all my hurt seems very pale.

The King beside me weeps.

He weeps not for the iron nails

That bruise His hands and feet.

I see a Man - yet more I see!

This Jesus must be real!

He did not earn his agony

Like the curse which I now feel.

But this Man suffers so much more

I scare can take it in.

"Why do You forsake Me, My Lord?"
He cries for all my sin.

I see Him drooping sadly there.

The Trinity is torn.

His royal head and bloodied hair

Is graced by my sharp thorns.

He pleads that God forgive us all

For we don't know what we do,

But as His chest begins to fall,

A tear falls with it too.

"My God!" I cry, and up looks He

And sees my desperate plight.

"Jesus Christ, remember me

In Your kingdom's glorious light."

And in the Savior's eyes I see

The sins which I had done.

The price for all my treachery

Is paid for by God' Son.

"My child," He says through all His pain,

"I knew that you would come.

One last sheep that I should gain

Before my task was done."

"Your faith has made you well," says He.

"This cross will all suffice.

I prayed for you in Gethsemane.

Prepare for Paradise."

"It is finished," He cries into the dark

And nature buckles under.

The wrath of God in fiery sparks

Is fulfilled and bursts asunder.

The separation has run its course.

The veil now tears in half.

The earth now quakes with all the force

Of God's love and God's wrath.

I watch the Shepherd bow his head.

He has made for us a Way.

In three days, He will not be dead

For then it will be Sunday.

I now die in total bliss.

A joy sustains my faith.

Christ is gained by total risk

For those who run the race.

Those nail-pierced hands now beckon me.

I am saved from all disaster.

"For you have suffered diligently.

Enter the joy of your Master."

~ The Fragile Grey Heart

Luke 23:40-43: "But the other rebuked him, saying, 'Do you not fear God, since you are under the same sentence of condemnation? And we indeed justly, for we are receiving the due reward of our deeds; but this man has done nothing wrong.' And he said, 'Jesus, remember me when you come into Your kingdom.' And He said to him, 'Truly, I say to you, today you will be with Me in Paradise.'"

The View Of The Stars 12

April 15, 2014

Today's contemplations are not thoughts of my own, but those of the great Danish theologian, Søren Kierkegaard. What he has to say is especially challenging to me as I hardly ever risk as much as I should. God is with us when we are timid and when we are bold. However, when we are bold, it is when we can feel His power the strongest.

"When the prosperous man on a dark but starlit night drives comfortably in his carriage and has the lanterns lighted, aye, then his is safe, he fears no difficulty, he carries his light with him, and it is not dark close around him. But precisely because he has the lanterns lighted, and has a strong light close to him, precisely for this reason, he cannot see the stars. For his lights obscure the stars, which the poor peasant, driving without lights, can see gloriously in the dark but starry night. So those deceived ones lie in the temporal existence: either, occupied with the necessities of life, they are too busy to avail themselves of the view, or in their prosperity and good days they have, as it were, lanterns lighted, and close about them everything is so satisfactory, so pleasant, so comfortable - but the view is lacking, the prospect, the view of the stars."

God has created us tiny creatures in a big world, not just a physically big one, but also a rich one. The simplest things can and should stir us. To become like a child, Jesus said, is a pre-requisite for entering heaven (Matthew 18:3). What does that mean? It means to experience God with the same excitement that a child does. Even though we find so much amusement in children, they enjoy looking at their toes and their hands, experiencing a tickle, tasting chocolate, or mimicking expressions more than we do. Enjoy God, and enjoy His world. Like C.S. Lewis, feel the sun-like beams of God warm your face, and then stare up that sunbeam into the face of the LORD Almighty. Turn off the lanterns that make you feel safe and experience God. Risk is a necessary, scary, beautiful element of life.

INTROSPECTION: This is nothing new to me. I have always known that I don't enjoy life or God as much as I should. Obviously, Bible reading and prayer help. Reading books help, especially John Piper, Charles Spurgeon, Mark Driscoll, or Saint Augustine. Time permitting, I need to plug back into music more as well. It seems that the more time my mind focuses on school and its own difficulties, the more dissatisfied I become. With finals coming up, that may become more and more necessary, but I pray that God would liberate me from a dissatisfaction rooted in my own, self-loving heart.

~ The Fragile Grey Heart

Psalm 8:3, 4: "When I look at Your heavens, the work of Your fingers, the moon and the stars, which You have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, and the son of man that you care for him?"

The Irreplaceable Bridge Of Grace 11

April 14, 2014

The last six months have been rough going. Pressure is no easy thing to swallow, especially when you have a crowded mind. The strangest part about pressure is the fact that it's not entirely a bad thing to crack. In fact, our weaknesses are given to us to teach us how to break and then how to heal.

Recently, I read a disturbing passage in the Scriptures that I tend to overlook. In the first few verses of Luke 13, Jesus instructs the multitudes to repent lest they be destroyed in the same way that Pilate's human sacrifices had been. He also references a catastrophe involving the collapse of tower in Siloam that killed eighteen people. While Jesus points out that these people were no worse sinners than anyone else, the Israelites should still repent of their sins, bearing in mind that untameable wrath of God. Repentance is no small thing. As a matter of fact, it is the bridge between two colossal things: salvation and condemnation.

This shocking analogy is preceded by a parable of judgment. In Luke 12:57-59, sinners are depicted as debtors about to be imprisoned. This is not a prison with a set bail though as some might draw from the passage's last phrase. It is not purgatory. It is hell.

Following, Jesus' account of Pilate and the tower of Siloam is a second parable of judgment in Luke 13:6-9. It falls in line perfectly with the first parable (judgment) and the second parable (pain). What follows both is death of an eternal kind. "Cut it down!" the master instructs. Sin leads to death. Sin begot death, and Satan fondles death with great care because it is his prized spawn. That is why the demon-possessed Gadarene lived in a graveyard (Mark 5:3), because Satan feels most at home when he is surrounded by death. But Satan is not the judge. God is. "Against this family, I am devising disaster, from which you cannot remove your necks!" (Amos 2:3)

The Lord spoke all these words to the Israelites, and for the most part, that is who Jesus mainly ministered to. Many of His parables dealt directly with Israel's time coming to a close. Again, we can hear the master of the garden: "Look, for three years now I have come seeking fruit on this fig tree, and I find none." And we all know how Jesus feels about barren fig trees. Just look at Matthew 21:19.

This sounds extraordinarily harsh. After all, the example between the two parables is very sobering. Death happens to all, and many experience eternal death. Jesus used the tragedies of death and destruction to pain this picture of eternal death.

What I want to point out specifically is that Jesus addressed the issue of karma when he discussed the deaths on the alter and at Siloam, which is interesting because Jesus is the prime example of karma not playing out. When He died on the cross, He blew karma to pieces. The best Man suffered the worst fate for the worst people. And when He struck that fatal blow, He opened the window of repentance. He created that bridge that mankind needed. He paid the debt we could not pay in the first parable by producing the fruit of obedience we could not produce in the second one. And in doing so, we can avoid the eternal death pictured in Siloam.

Perhaps you feel spiritually, emotionally, or even physically withered and drained. The point is not to give up, to bash yourself, or to run from the Lord. The point is that, no matter where you are, we all need one thing: a Savior - Christ the Lord. Let Him be enough. Take every day, one step at a time because the Lord does not work in bounds. He works in the little things. Let us be reminded that there is a door to life. God did not have to provide this love, but He does with wide arms of grace.

~The Fragile Grey Heart

Isaiah 55:6, 7: "Seek the Lord while He may be found; call upon Him while He is near; let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts; let him return to the Lord, that He may have compassion on him, and to our God, for He will abundantly pardon."

Patience In The Night 10

August 30, 2013

Sometimes it seems like spiritual dryness is overwhelming. Or like spiritual progress is all too slow. Few things are more frustrating than feeling like I am being withheld from a good thing. Impatience comes from a lack of faith that God is working for the best and that every minute I spend waiting in the dark for some light form the Lord will work for me eternal gain.

There are two ways that I should not respond in impatience. The first is that of despondency. There is a spiritual depression which is healthy, and one that is not. If I have sinned, then a prayer of Psalm 51 is good. James 4:8, 9: "Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom." But this mourning is supposed to have an effect of repentance. And in verse 10, he says, "Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you." Instead of being depressed over our sins OR our plans, we should humble ourselves under the mighty hand of the Lord.

The second is that of overexertion. Sometimes if God isn't acting the way we think He should, we will step in and take action ourselves. In John 18:10, as Judas Iscariot and the Jews come to arrest Jesus, Peter attempts to defend Jesus, cutting the ear off a Roman servant. During all of Jesus' ministry, Peter had tried to fit Jesus into his own view of the Messiah. And when Judas began to disrupt Peter's plan, he felt that he had to take matters into his own hands. But Jesus made it clear that He will do His Father's will.

Whether I can see the end of God's giant plan or not, I know that God works all things to His will. I cannot imagine being Peter, knowing that his Lord was being dragged away to be killed. Even when Jesus doesn't seem close to us, I should trust that He works even His absence for the greatest gain.

~The Fragile Grey Heart

Philippians 4:6, 7: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

The Evangelism Of The Master 09

August 28, 2013

In all things, I should look at Jesus. So lately, I've been wondering: how does Jesus evangelize? Jesus' evangelism did not always yield fruit, but there is no better Person to model myself after than the Master Himself.

1. JESUS EVANGELIZED BY PRESENTING HIMSELF AS THE WAY INTO HEAVEN. In the familiar passage John 3, Jesus and the Pharisee Nicodemus are talking late at night. In very clear words, Jesus proclaims that no one will enter heaven unless they believe on Him (John 3:16). And He gives to Nicodemus both halves of the age-old debate of "man's responsibility or God's will." First, you cannot tell the Spirit who to regenerate (John 3:8), but you must believe (John 3:18)! Nicodemus seems to care for the Lord Jesus following His crucifixion (John 19:39), which I attribute to a converted heart. Nicodemus passed from darkness to light (John 3:19).

2. JESUS EVANGELIZED BY PRESENTING HIMSELF AS THE ULTIMATE SATISFACTION. One chapter later in John 4, Jesus meets with the Samaritan woman. As omniscient God, He knows her entire past, just as He had known His disciple Nathaniel's past and His disciple Peter's future. And furthermore, He knows where her heart lies. In verses 16 to 18, she admits that she has gone through five husbands and is currently living with a sixth man. This is in explanation to His previous statement: "Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water that I will give Him will never be thirsty again" (John 4:13, 14). Jesus tells her that He is the only lasting option to her soul's desires. When the Samaritan woman leaves, she leaves behind her bucket - representing her abandonment of all other pleasures and pursuits - and tells Samaria about Jesus Christ.

3. JESUS EVANGELIZED BY PRESENTING HIMSELF AS THE FULFILLMENT OF THE LAW. In Romans 7, Paul says that if he had not known the Law, he would not have known sin (Romans 7:7). This is well expressed in Mark 10 when Jesus evangelizes to the rich young man. When the young man asks how he can inherit eternal life, Jesus responds by quoting the Law. The young man claims to have completed all of them, and Jesus says, "You lack one thing: go, sell all that you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me" (Mark 10:21). This is the test of love: do I love money (or anything else) or do I love Jesus? And when the rich man turns away, it is apparent he loved money. Loving Jesus and following Jesus (at the end) fulfills the Law from cover to cover.

4. JESUS EVANGELIZED BY PRESENTING HIMSELF AS A REWARDER. Jesus is a rewarder of those who seek Him (Hebrews 11:4). And who sought Him and followed Him more fervently than His own disciples? Matthew records for us His calling of Simon Peter and Andrew: "Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men" (Matthew 4:19). I can only imagine that after such a radical experience in Luke 5 when Jesus nearly causes Peter's boat to tip from a bountiful catch of fish that Peter knew that much more would come. If I ever come to think that the world has enough to offer, I should look to Jesus. Hear Him say: "You think this is a great catch? Go forth, and be catching men" (Luke 5:10). Men are far more valuable than fish, and treasures in heaven are far more valuable than treasures on earth. I pray that would not be like the rich man who denied heavenly treasures, but I pray to be like Peter who left all to follow Him.

5. JESUS EVANGELIZED BY PRESENTING HIMSELF AS A HEALER. Jesus did not raise the dead very often while He was on earth, but it seems appropriate that He would call forth one of His best friends: Lazarus. All of Lazarus' suffering, Jesus makes clear, came for the glory of God (John 11:4). And when He comes to save Lazarus from death, He makes it crystal clear that in one life or another, Jesus will heal every wound we ever receive and more. He truly does love the suffering (John 11:36), so He will turn all our loss into immense gain. So He cures the most repressive of all physical ailments: death itself. And from this healing and from countless others, people believed in Him (John 11:45).

6. JESUS EVANGELIZED BY PRESENTING HIMSELF AS A SACRIFICE. Nothing is closer to the heart of the Gospel than the cross of Christ. And even while He was nailed to a tree, Jesus still saves one more wandering lamb: the thief. The dying thief rejoiced to see that fountain in his day! Perhaps it wasn't until he saw Jesus' sufferings and he heard Jesus' pleas for our forgiveness and he witnessed Jesus' persistent Godward focus that he truly believed that Jesus is the Son of God. But he believed nonetheless, because he knew that in that moment, Jesus was bearing sin - even his own. "This man has done nothing wrong, (Luke 23:41), and yet He hangs here for me." By dying on the cross, Jesus brought this thief into paradise and countless others until He returns.

~The Fragile Grey Heart

John 8:12: "Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, 'I am the light of the world. Whoever follows Me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.'"