The View Of The Stars 12

April 15, 2014

Today's contemplations are not thoughts of my own, but those of the great Danish theologian, Søren Kierkegaard. What he has to say is especially challenging to me as I hardly ever risk as much as I should. God is with us when we are timid and when we are bold. However, when we are bold, it is when we can feel His power the strongest.

"When the prosperous man on a dark but starlit night drives comfortably in his carriage and has the lanterns lighted, aye, then his is safe, he fears no difficulty, he carries his light with him, and it is not dark close around him. But precisely because he has the lanterns lighted, and has a strong light close to him, precisely for this reason, he cannot see the stars. For his lights obscure the stars, which the poor peasant, driving without lights, can see gloriously in the dark but starry night. So those deceived ones lie in the temporal existence: either, occupied with the necessities of life, they are too busy to avail themselves of the view, or in their prosperity and good days they have, as it were, lanterns lighted, and close about them everything is so satisfactory, so pleasant, so comfortable - but the view is lacking, the prospect, the view of the stars."

God has created us tiny creatures in a big world, not just a physically big one, but also a rich one. The simplest things can and should stir us. To become like a child, Jesus said, is a pre-requisite for entering heaven (Matthew 18:3). What does that mean? It means to experience God with the same excitement that a child does. Even though we find so much amusement in children, they enjoy looking at their toes and their hands, experiencing a tickle, tasting chocolate, or mimicking expressions more than we do. Enjoy God, and enjoy His world. Like C.S. Lewis, feel the sun-like beams of God warm your face, and then stare up that sunbeam into the face of the LORD Almighty. Turn off the lanterns that make you feel safe and experience God. Risk is a necessary, scary, beautiful element of life.

INTROSPECTION: This is nothing new to me. I have always known that I don't enjoy life or God as much as I should. Obviously, Bible reading and prayer help. Reading books help, especially John Piper, Charles Spurgeon, Mark Driscoll, or Saint Augustine. Time permitting, I need to plug back into music more as well. It seems that the more time my mind focuses on school and its own difficulties, the more dissatisfied I become. With finals coming up, that may become more and more necessary, but I pray that God would liberate me from a dissatisfaction rooted in my own, self-loving heart.

~ The Fragile Grey Heart

Psalm 8:3, 4: "When I look at Your heavens, the work of Your fingers, the moon and the stars, which You have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, and the son of man that you care for him?"

The Root Of Pride 08

August 26, 2013

INTROSPECTION: My lack of faith is my worst sin. It is the root of all others. A lack of faith creates pride. And vice versa, I believe. God, if there be any wicked way in me, correct it! And when You reveal it to me, don't let me become discouraged. Rather, let Your glory shine so brightly that I cannot help but follow You!

I do not share the Gospel as much as I need to. This stems from several problems for me. First: I am afraid. I fear man and their opinions. Inversely then, I am valuing my own reputation far too much which is pride. And we have already claimed that pride is a version of UNBELIEF.

Second, I over-analyze a conversation that MIGHT happen. Is God real? Is homosexuality really a sin? Why does God let bad things happen to good people? I am not allowing God to guide my words, which again stems from UNBELIEF.

And third, I am not in love enough with God. I don't find Him precious enough to share. And if faith is a result of satisfaction (John 6:35), then my lack of love for God comes from UNBELIEF.

Lord, I thank You for the work You have done through my life already, but don't stop there! Let your love coarse through my heart! Because of Your great and wondrous works, I will raise the cup of my heart to You again. Fill my life, Lord Jesus!

Amen.

~The Fragile Grey Heart

Psalm 139:23, 24: "Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!"

Simplicity 04

August 22, 2013

I still have a desire to read the Word, but my prayer life is still suffering. Just read a section of When I Don't Desire God by John Piper.

How is it that I walk into a theater super excited, but don't see the beauty in a sunrise anymore? Every now and then, I ought to take a look at a flower or a tree or at the sky as I did yesterday and just be amazed that it is. I used to think that children are amused by simple things. You hear them react to sensations like tickling or ridiculous faces. But as we get older, WE become more entertained by simple things like television and iPhones. Children have an innocence that purely enjoys glorious things. O that I would have eyes like a child to grasp the worth of God's creation!

I also need to start FORGETTING ABOUT MYSELF! It's a great hindrance to joy, always wondering what people think of me (Ecclesiastes 7:21). The world does not revolve around you, and few people you pass on the street are extremely concerned with what you are doing.

INTROSPECTION: The freedom of self-forgetfulness, as Timothy Keller calls it, liberates us from what can potentially be the awkward sin of self-awareness.

~The Fragile Grey Heart

Ecclesiastes 7:21: "Do not take to heart all the things that people say, lest you hear your servant cursing you."

Psalm 104:24, 25: "O Lord, how manifold are Your works! In wisdom have You made them all; the earth is full of Your creatures. Here is the sea, great and wide, which teems with creatures innumerable, living things both small and great."

To Slay The Giant Sins 02

Just three short days ago, I began keeping a prayer journal. These next three posts will describe my last three days...

I'm bad at note-taking, but I love to write. It is here that I will begin a diary, not of my life but of THE LIFE. Perhaps if I see God work and move, then I will better grasp what it means to have my faith and love fed by gratitude.

So as of August 20, 2013:

INTROSPECTION: I struggle with lust, laziness, jealousy, pride, inconsistency, lying, anxiety, procrastination, too much self-awareness, procrastination, unresolved emotions, and two-facedness.

Even as I write, branches of these sins come to mind. I've been reading John Piper a lot. I need faith. BIG FAITH. And I pray to God that I will have faith that slays giant sins - not the action only but the desire. The thoughts. The feelings.

God, give me that power, love, and sound mind from 2 Timothy 1:7. Strip away the fear; grant me a soul of faith. If faith is your purifying agent, cleanse this grey heart with your bleach-like blood.

~The Fragile Grey Heart

 2 Timothy 1:7: "For God has not given us a spirit of fear but of power and love and self-control."